Starship Troopers Review
13 January 2006 | By Alex Jeffreys
Pass the bug spray please
Starship Troopers was a great little sci-fi flick. Now it has been desecrated by Strangelite, who have created a horrible zombie of a game which may actually suck the life out of you if you play it too long.
The movie was somewhat of a cult hit, and some of the actors have returned for the game. Unfortunately, with the developers failing to capture the spirit of the movie, and never ending audio glitches creating mayhem, the sound quality is farcical at best, a fact that still fails to cover the incredible lame voice acting present in this game. Shed a tear if you liked the movie and move on, this game will only upset you.
It’s hard to make a good game, something Starship Troopers demonstrates over and over again throughout its torturous game play. The technical details first. It’s a first person shooter game. You’ll shoot a lot of bugs, and I do mean a lot. A myriad. A multitude even. If you’re a fan of arcade games where you have to shoot objects or defend a target from multiple attacks, and the only difference between levels is the sheer number of things attacking, then you’ll love this game.
You’ll also love this game if you like very ugly things. Shockingly rendered, Starship Troopers is reminiscent visually of what might happen if Doom got really drunk and threw up everywhere. The characters share faces a little too often to be entirely comforting (it’s a little like fighting with an army of extremely bad clones), and many of the environments are simply confusing to be in. This is all due to a below par graphics engine which fails to handle night scenes, or detail, very well at all. Then there are the bugs, which might be really scary if you have a fear of pudgy silly looking things waving their legs about.
If you have yet to have a frontal lobotomy, chances are you will find this game exceptionally tiresome. As one of the elite Marauders squad, it is your job to run around and shoot things. Occasionally you will be allowed to complete a task, after which you will be returned to the fray of bug shooting.
There are all sorts of bugs for you to fight, your run of the mill worker bug, which you’ll kill in their thousands if you manage to main sanity long enough. Then there are bugs that will blind you and while you’re blinded, they, you guessed it, make more bugs come after you. You’ll also encounter bugs that can shoot plasma out of their asses, which is an interesting variation, and of course there are the boss bug fights. After having killed, what seems to be an endless stream of bugs, you’ll be absolutely not thrilled at all to have to deal with a really big bug.
If you thought the enemies left much to be desired, unfortunately, your side isn’t that impressive either. The squad you fight with was clearly trained by a descendent of General Custer, as they seem unable or unwilling to avoid the onslaught of killer bugs. They’re often wiped out within a minute of combat beginning which means it’s down to you. Which isn’t nearly as exciting as it sounds?
Don’t hold out too many hopes for your weaponry, which is seriously underpowered. There is certainly enough of it, assault rifles, rocket launchers, sniper rifles and grenades to name but a few. However these must be some tough bugs, as the rocket launcher barely seems to scratch them.
So tough are these bugs, and so multitudinous, they appear to have infiltrated the developers computers as well as the entire game. Prepare yourself for random crashes, bugs and soldiers getting stuck and performing bizarre actions repetitively, endless restarts and movies that you can’t see, and even if you could, it would crash your computer anyway.
Starship Troopers does provide some multiplayer capacity, but you’re highly unlikely to find anyone else willing to expose themselves to that kind of torture.
Pass the bug spray please.
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| The Bugs! The Bugs are coming! | Ooh! Quick! Shoot the really big bug! |
The movie was somewhat of a cult hit, and some of the actors have returned for the game. Unfortunately, with the developers failing to capture the spirit of the movie, and never ending audio glitches creating mayhem, the sound quality is farcical at best, a fact that still fails to cover the incredible lame voice acting present in this game. Shed a tear if you liked the movie and move on, this game will only upset you.
It’s hard to make a good game, something Starship Troopers demonstrates over and over again throughout its torturous game play. The technical details first. It’s a first person shooter game. You’ll shoot a lot of bugs, and I do mean a lot. A myriad. A multitude even. If you’re a fan of arcade games where you have to shoot objects or defend a target from multiple attacks, and the only difference between levels is the sheer number of things attacking, then you’ll love this game.
You’ll also love this game if you like very ugly things. Shockingly rendered, Starship Troopers is reminiscent visually of what might happen if Doom got really drunk and threw up everywhere. The characters share faces a little too often to be entirely comforting (it’s a little like fighting with an army of extremely bad clones), and many of the environments are simply confusing to be in. This is all due to a below par graphics engine which fails to handle night scenes, or detail, very well at all. Then there are the bugs, which might be really scary if you have a fear of pudgy silly looking things waving their legs about.
 |
 |
|
| Can you see where you’re going? I sure can’t! | Waiting for…. Bugs!! |
If you have yet to have a frontal lobotomy, chances are you will find this game exceptionally tiresome. As one of the elite Marauders squad, it is your job to run around and shoot things. Occasionally you will be allowed to complete a task, after which you will be returned to the fray of bug shooting.
There are all sorts of bugs for you to fight, your run of the mill worker bug, which you’ll kill in their thousands if you manage to main sanity long enough. Then there are bugs that will blind you and while you’re blinded, they, you guessed it, make more bugs come after you. You’ll also encounter bugs that can shoot plasma out of their asses, which is an interesting variation, and of course there are the boss bug fights. After having killed, what seems to be an endless stream of bugs, you’ll be absolutely not thrilled at all to have to deal with a really big bug.
If you thought the enemies left much to be desired, unfortunately, your side isn’t that impressive either. The squad you fight with was clearly trained by a descendent of General Custer, as they seem unable or unwilling to avoid the onslaught of killer bugs. They’re often wiped out within a minute of combat beginning which means it’s down to you. Which isn’t nearly as exciting as it sounds?
Don’t hold out too many hopes for your weaponry, which is seriously underpowered. There is certainly enough of it, assault rifles, rocket launchers, sniper rifles and grenades to name but a few. However these must be some tough bugs, as the rocket launcher barely seems to scratch them.
 |
 |
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| Go on boy… Find the Bug... That’s a good boy! | Brave Troopers! |
So tough are these bugs, and so multitudinous, they appear to have infiltrated the developers computers as well as the entire game. Prepare yourself for random crashes, bugs and soldiers getting stuck and performing bizarre actions repetitively, endless restarts and movies that you can’t see, and even if you could, it would crash your computer anyway.
Starship Troopers does provide some multiplayer capacity, but you’re highly unlikely to find anyone else willing to expose themselves to that kind of torture.
Pass the bug spray please.
STARSHIP TROOPERS VERDICT
So tough are these bugs, and so multitudinous, they appear to have infiltrated the developers computers as well as the entire game. Prepare yourself for random crashes, bugs and soldiers getting stuck and performing bizarre actions repetitively, endless restarts and movies that you can’t see, and even if you could, it would crash your computer anyway.Starship Troopers does provide some multiplayer capacity, but you’re highly unlikely to find anyone else willing to expose themselves to that kind of torture.Pass the bug spray please.
TOP GAME MOMENT
Uhm. Shooting Bugs?
