Basically you’ll waste ”as much as 1/6 less money” on this Valentine surprise, which when bought is giftable to that special someone. It spits out matching diamond rings.
”Happy Valentine’s Day, stupid,” blogs Valve. Team Fortress 2 is a bastion of virtual goods being bought and traded. Valve wants to shamelessly cash in like every other bugger.
”If there’s one thing we know more about than hats, it’s probably romance,” declared the studio.
”Remember that romantic scene in Say Anything where John Cusack holds up a boom box in the rain? Well, we hold stuff up in the rain all the time. Golf clubs. Our wallets. An umbrella. Whatever’s handy, really.”
”And do the girls go for it? Hard to tell - it rains pretty hard in Seattle, so the limited visibility combined with wind shear makes it tough to see the appreciation on the ladies’ faces.”
Valve offers a ‘cheaper alternative’ to making an arse out of yourself…
”Anyway, today’s Valentine’s Day, and that means if you’re dating or married, you’re going to drop somewhere in the area of $600 tonight on flowers, dinner, babysitters, hot air balloon rides, a hospital bill for rain-related holding injuries (Seattle only). It adds up fast, and you might be asking yourself at the end of the night, “Was it all worth it?”
”The answer, emphatically, is no. Happy Valentine’s Day, stupid,” concludes Valve.
”But wait! What if we told you that you could waste as much as 1/6 less money this Valentine’s Day? What if we added that you could do it without even leaving your house? Then what if we sweetened the deal further by saying sorry for calling you stupid earlier?”
”Introducing the “Something Special For Someone Special”. It’s ring-shaped, it’s gift-wrapped, it’s basically useless, and it’s really expensive ($100!). In short, it’s the most accurate simulation of an actual Valentine’s Day gift ever made available to the public.”
How does this severely overpriced novelty virtual item work? ”First, it’s not tradable, only giftable.”
”When it shows up in your special someone’s backpack, they can click on it to open a menu that will let them accept your proposal. Once the proposal’s been accepted, a message will be broadcast to the entire TF community that will include your name, your special someone’s name, and whatever you decided to call the ring. Then presto, the gift turns into two matching diamond bands you can wear in the rain while you smooch up a storm, you crazy kids.”
Planning on having immediate buyer’s remorse with your $100 ‘Something Special For Someone Special’ ring?
